


A letter to Kaka/Crist

by Fubukiakiya



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 03:36:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1803847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fubukiakiya/pseuds/Fubukiakiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter to Kaka,<br/>Even if the world walks against you, I will be with you.</p>
<p>A letter to Cris,<br/>love the complete you. All of you. Cris, you have to remember, I really love you.</p>
<p>One day, Cris wrote Kaka a letter.<br/>Kaka wrote back before going to see him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A letter to Kaka/Crist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ronaldo&Kaka](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ronaldo%26Kaka), [Criska](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criska/gifts).



> I really love this couple and this is just what I came up with after watching the game Germany VS Portugal. I felt terrible so I wanted something to help me get through it.
> 
> My English is not that good, so if you see errors and mistakes, ignore it.

A letter to Kaka:

 

I can imagine when you see this letter you will open your mouth and show those white teeth to mock me. It doesn’t matter, because I want to hear you laugh at this moment.

I want to tell you I had been sick for four day, not just fever, but also had throat infection. I didn’t go to the hospital and call my family. I just sit inside the big mansion in Madrid, because I know you will come back to me. I believed I will see your figure in front of me, with a frown face, then look at me with those beautiful eyes and tell me: Cris, why didn’t you look after yourself.

You told me that my washing machine is different from others, that I have to press it three times to work normally, and when the machine starts turning is when I can put my cloth in. I was looking at the side of your face at that time, didn’t heard a thing. When you talks to me in a impatient voice at the end, I will turn my face and carefully kiss your ear. Now I regret not listening to you. I put my cloth and everything in the machine, press it many times, but the machine made huge sound and stopped moving. My dirty clothes are piling up in hills. I have no sheets in the night when it’s freezing cold, so I try to hug you, but can only air beside me. This is the first time I feel how desolate I am.

Also my tie, belt, shampoo, tooth paste, tooth brush, and towel. I can’t even find my scarf and under wears. I know you once told me that I am drab, careless, and make the house fill with garbage. So you will help me clean everything and organize them. I laugh at you being a babysitter when you are so seriously cleaning up. Your will always return me a bite on the lips. I guess that’s the reason I like to make jokes and pick on you. But what should I do now. Can you please at least come back and tell me where are things.

I really thought about finding the housemaid that once work for me to take care of me, but every time I think of her is her words like ‘Kaka is a hypocrite’. This makes me pissed off, so I can’t see her again. You use to not understand that why I’m so angry at this. You said that what other people thinks doesn’t matter, as long as I understand you. When you said it, we are close, and open your eyes so big with your eyelash almost touching my face. I wanted to hold you in bad and have you, but the innocence look in your eyes stopped me. I promise that I am very touched when you said it. You are like an angle, and it makes me wanted to drug you down to hell with me. I admit falling in love with you is something that pain exists the same time as happy.

Pepe called me again. He keeps asking what’s up with me. I said if I don’t go back to the club, the club will fire me. I smiled and told him I am alright, if they do fire me, it’s ok. That place is good but without you, I don’t want to stay. That is the nth time he calls me this month, even more than you do. Do you think I am crazy? I can’t remember you calling me at all. I must be crazy.

So you still remember the match between Brazil and Netherland? You left with tears. 2010 didn’t achieve your goal. The news said that you didn’t do what you should as the leader, and many people use this incident to question your ability. I was so angry that couldn’t talk, it was more angry than when lose the match. When I realize, I almost smash the television. I suddenly understand that I cared about you more than anything, more than myself. That was the first time you cry in front of me, when come and find me, with smile on your face. We sit in the garden beside my mansion, you lean on me and told me you dream, your football dream. Your voice is small, I can only hear the mumbles to my ear. Then you fall asleep while you’re talking, so I turn my head to look at you and saw tear on your face. I don’t want you to de sad.

I didn’t achieve my promise. That day when you come to my house in the rain, you told me: ‘Lets break up. I know I am going to hell, and I made the mistake, so you don’t have to be in this mess.’ Then you walked away into the falling train without looking back. I stayed outside all night under the rain and called you hundreds of times, but never got an answer from you. After that I found out, you know that your knees got injured again, maybe it needs to do surgery, and your old injury is still bothering you. When you face the pressure of the world, you feel so like you are in the darkness, and there’s no road in front of you. I blamed myself for letting you suffer in this alone and couldn’t be by your side.

I don’t have any other reasons to write this letter. I just want to tell you I love you. Even though this doesn’t mean everything and the three worlds are useless, but I still wants to tell you: If you are going to hell, I die to go with you. The place without you is the place I can’t be in.

I don’t know if you still remember that the first time I see you is when I am 10 years old. I was too small so I almost forgot, in the hospital, and our bed is beside each other. You smiled to me back then and the sunlight shines on you which give you this warm taste. That moment I was shocked, so I remembered you in my heart till now.

Others say that me, Cristiano Ronaldo are arrogant. They say I am selfish, conceit, car too much about fame, never treated the profession seriously. They also say I am the king of diving, and I am easy to get aggressive. I never cared about their word, not at all. But who will thought of, me, the presumptuous Cristiano Ronaldo will fall in the hands of the gentle, idiot, and piety Kaka’s hand.

The girl who delivers milk comes again an hour ago. She pressed the door bell dozens of time until I finally drag tired body to the door. She was so surprise when she saw me so she asked me where you are. I was dizzy and feel like throwing up, so I pointed behind me and said Kaka’s right there. She look at me in a confuse way and asked me if I am sick, does she need to call an ambulance. I don’t have the strength to speak with her, so I shut the door. Kaka, tell me who’s sick, you are on the sofa watching the television with the little teddy bear I bought, and she didn’t see you.

Today is the 29th day we separated, even though it’s not long, but I still feel like centuries had passed. Without you, I can’t live my life anymore. I never fell so low of my self-esteem before, but for you, I am willing to be petty. The illness keeps bothering me and it feels like they are bothering you too. I hate them. Sometimes my head hurts so much, when I close my eyes I will see your bright face with smiles, and then all the pain will be forgotten for that moment. So I wrote a K on my arm, hope it can remind me, I still have you by my side.

I don’t mind that you have wife and son. I don’t mind the injury on your body. I definitely don’t mind that you are a responsible person who puts family in the first place. If the world blames you I will still choose to stand beside you. The second day before we broke up, I called you wife and almost got in to a fight with her. I know I shouldn’t do that but I can’t stand the idea that she walks on the separate direction as when you are suffering. Didn’t you say you don’t like my personality as a playboy? It’s ok. If you come back, I will change it. Didn’t you say you don’t like me calling you idiotKa? It’s ok. If you come back, I will change it. Didn’t you say you don’t like giving your back to me when we have sex? It’s ok. If you come back, everything you say, I will do it, even if you want to be the top one.

I know I don’t have talent in literacy and I don’t expect you to cry after reading this letter. 

I just want you back. 

Come back, Kaka. 

Even if the world walks against you, I will be with you.

 

From Cris

**********************************************************************************************************************************

A letter to Cris:

 

I write down the beginning but don’t know how to continue. Tell you that I have to get N hours of physical therapy every day, or tell you that I watched each and every one of your games, or maybe just tell you that I suffer so much pain and I miss you?

I do want to break up our relationship. I don’t answer your call and I throw your messages to the trash before even looks at them. But when I know you been having a fever follows with hurting throat for four days and night. I can’t let you torture yourself like this. I know what I do will offend god’s will, but what should I do? You have to wait for me, and don’t go anywhere. You dumb head Cris. How can you not eat medicine while you are sick? How can you not go to the hospital? You can at least get a person to take care of you. Oh, God, why do I talk like an old lady? You stupid kid, without me you are going to live anymore? You want me to see you like this and die of heart torture? Is it every minute I spend praying for you to be fine all just nothing? 

I am very worried these days. I’m afraid that you don’t know where your shirts, tie, and pants are. I’m afraid you don’t know your new washing machine is something that you just need to press a button and it could wash and dry you cloth. I’m afraid you don’t remember where I put you shampoo and shaver in the bathroom’s second drawer of the left hand side. I keep thinking about these small things that I can’t even hear Caroline calling me for dinner and impatient when Luca wants to play soccer with me. Every time I tell you these small things you always say things like: Ricky will know where it is. Ricky can teach me how to use it. Rickey will clean it up for me. Every time thinking of your words make me wanted to laugh, who know that the most expensive player in the world wear a pair of socks that match and walks in the house with slippers? So when I ask you to find the caretaker who you have before to take care of your life, you said no. But to me, you live comfortable and happy is more important than anything else.

You said Pepe calls you a lot? Actually, in the past couple of days, he would come to my house. Every time is the same thing, why don’t you go to training? Then say many things like ‘what if you get fired?’ and ask me to comfort you so you can go to training. I know if I hear your name one more time, I will go to you place. Cris, do you know, there is many times I will walk uncontrollably to side you house. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and even god couldn’t lead my steps anymore?

I always remember the conversation we have at the garden. How can I forget? It’s the best night I ever have. No matter world cup losing the ball or my injuries, I have so much pressure. That day, when I lean on you back and told you so many things in my life, are like I don’t even know what I’m talking about in the end. But that feeling of relieved that I haven feel for a long time is something I can’t forget. Do you remember that I actually fall asleep like that? I didn’t be able to tell you that I dream a blue sky and you run toward me while we are on a field of greenness which you have that smile on your face that make my sank.

Right now when I think of world cup, I feel like it’s the start of my tragedy. The injury makes me unable to play in a game without feeling pain and then my knees get uncomfortable. I never told anyone, including you, even though I know you will understand what I feel. So I thought, I have to keep myself together till the club starts. In the middle is just to go to the concert with Caroline and go to Disney to interact with kids. I hoped my body can hold on a little longer. Every day I wait on twitter to see what you did and then switch to a happy mood so you will not worry. I couldn’t let the ones care about get worried, because I can’t let all of you down. I just wants to wait after meeting my parent and be with Caroline and Luca for enough time so I can go back to see you. With you and the team doctor’s cares plus systematic repair training, I will be fine. But, I never thought I will turn out that bad. That’s why I got in to a fight with Caroline, that she blames me for hiding my injuries and not think for the family. All the media came questioning why I didn’t get the treatment I need when I should and my ethics. Many fans who like me left message online saying how disappointed they are. Watching you on the training field with sweats, I suddenly feel so afraid. I’m afraid I will lose the people who love me. I’m afraid to lose to beloved football career. I’m more afraid that I can’t stand by your side on the pitch.

So I went to you house that night, thinking if I really failed to this point I can’t drag you with me. I don’t want you to worried about me and affect you status. I just want you to have a good life and treat the pitch you stand on seriously. At that day we broke up, I walked in rain towards my home. 400 meters feels like kilometres. The rain pours on me and I was all wet. I couldn’t feel anything and it’s like there is a hole in my heart that I can’t fill. When I get home, Caroline frightened when she saw me. I told her I forgot to take the umbrella. Cris, tell me why? Why I fill my head with you? I didn’t sleep all night, watching the calls on my phone. I once thought god will save me and help you, but no one can fill the hole inside me that’s getting bigger. Cris, you tell me what I am supposed to do?

So when I your letter today, I finally understand. In this world, you are the only person that will never leave me. I believe you, like believing myself and god. I don’t want you to change the bad habits you said. As you know, I love you. I love the complete you. All of you. Cris, you have to remember, I really love you. With just these words make my eyes blurred. You will definitely laugh at me for loving to cry, but can you not touched after reading this letter? I’m about to see you, but before that, I still wants to return a letter. My dear, I wish you tissue paper is not used up by you already; you have to use it to wipe away my tears.

 

From Ricky


End file.
